Some seem quite apparent at the start, others become understood when I fail and realise that there was a better way of acting, thinking, or speaking and some are just so obvious that I laugh at my own struggle.
So with this in mind I wonder why now?, is it because I am in the line up of some kind of reward in this life but I have to earn it first? or is it because I have been dragging my feet behind me so he's stepping up the game!. Maybe I just need a little slap in the face to know what should be important to me, to realise what IS important to me, and to remember that I don't have much to fight for.
I said to a friend before this all started happening that I wish I had the feeling of when I first took my steps towards him, not that I don't love him because I do but I just lack conscious gratitude of what he gives me, what he gives us, like before, where I would look at the muggy brown leaves on a grey day and feel amazed and humbled by there secret beauty that I now had the opportunity to see.
So maybe this is a more Divine lesson of the age old one that my dad used to give me;
"I'll give you something to cry about" he would say, and he did! although it's execution lacked example but I can see it clearly now in the work of the one I love.
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