Monday, September 1, 2008

new day

Life just got real serious....

...cause for a little while it was all just about fun in the sun.

So the long awaited Ramadhan has finally arrived and it couldnt have come any sooner! I spent the day before rather domestically cleaning up, doing some hand washing tying up some loose ends and then took a stroll to the masjid at the end of my road for Isha and finally Taraweh.

...where I cried like a baby for the first 8 raqah's. I don't know what it is that just gets me with the qur'aan but I stood there in preyer listening to Surah Al-Baqarah remembering that that particular chapter of the Qur'aan is a healer. So, I asked Allah to do just that, I pleaded with him to clean my heart of the black mark i had allowed to grow over the past year and to heal my emotional wounds that I left open and unforgoten to bother me from the back of my mind.

As my dissapointments of life flashed before my eyes the tears started to flow as did my astughfir's untill I was finding it hard to breath.

You see Im not much of a cryer!
I didnt cry when my mum weeped on my shoulder at the airport, nor do I when I cut my hand or remember my broken heart or when I feel disgusted at myself when I reminisce on the hurt and pain that I have caused others. So it was quite a clearance. and afterwards I felt exhausted I couldn't believe it was only 10.00 pm!!

Al-Hamdulilah!

I had my first Qur'aan lesson today also, it's been one of the only things that leaves me anticipated for children so that I can put my (on-point) recitation to use and lead my family in prayer (Inshallah). I will be having 1hour of Qur'aan and 3 hours of Arabic a day from now on and getting paid to just stick around for an hour in case they get some children for the English classes they want me to start teaching. And that's only obligated on me for 3 days a week.

Both my Arabic and My qur'aan teacher want to pay me to tutor them in speaking English, so I made a deal to swap the lessons for home cooked food. They found that hilarious, but they haven't seen what a put off my kitchen is to cook in and KFC and Pizza hut is really expensive every night .

So, hello to Ramadhan and the purification of my soul Inshallah!