I had a regret once, and the very person that helped me abolish it has now given me another to replace it with.
Once again I am reminded of that gut-renching feeling that lingerers in the background and plagues your mind like a mosquito in the dark.
The only possible consolation for this is that what ever mistake you made that led to a regret is that you can learn from your actions and move on......
....but not with this one I can see myself making this mistake again and again.
AND THAT IS MY CURSE!
Photobucket src="http://i254.photobucket.com/albums/hh96/jessiwalkerster/SIGNITURE.jpg" border=0>
Friday, August 29, 2008
Thursday, August 28, 2008
theres just no thrill of the chase here in London
Yea but...
They chase so hard here that they chase thier own tail,
they go round in circles so fast that end up biting there own a*se
They chase so hard here that they chase thier own tail,
they go round in circles so fast that end up biting there own a*se
Saturday, August 2, 2008
converstation of contradiction
SELEF NIQABI;
what is that weired mark that all the men in this country have on their heads?
ME;
from making sujud, you know in the qur'aan where it say's how we will be recognised by the mark on our heads.
SELEF NIQABI;
No. I think that its so bad that when the adhaan go's there are people just sitting around here.
ME;
Well they are still human here just because it's a nuslim country it doesnt mean that there aren't any wasowis from shaytahn.
SELEF NIQABI;
Yeh but in saudi when th adhaan go's the streets are empty and there are nomen on road.
ME;
but don't they arrest men that aren't don't prey?
SELEF NIQABI;
yeah! I think thats sooo good!
ME;
No it isn't didn't the prophet (saaw) once say that there is no compulsion in religion?
what is that weired mark that all the men in this country have on their heads?
ME;
from making sujud, you know in the qur'aan where it say's how we will be recognised by the mark on our heads.
SELEF NIQABI;
No. I think that its so bad that when the adhaan go's there are people just sitting around here.
ME;
Well they are still human here just because it's a nuslim country it doesnt mean that there aren't any wasowis from shaytahn.
SELEF NIQABI;
Yeh but in saudi when th adhaan go's the streets are empty and there are nomen on road.
ME;
but don't they arrest men that aren't don't prey?
SELEF NIQABI;
yeah! I think thats sooo good!
ME;
No it isn't didn't the prophet (saaw) once say that there is no compulsion in religion?
Thursday, July 24, 2008
Monday, July 14, 2008
Misr week 2 or three
WOW!
So much to say for such a little time.
I seemed to have really fallen on my feet here from the 1st day I arrived I met a gurdian Angel who has looked after me.
And allthough it seems as if you nver get something for nothing here sometimes just friendship is a fair price to pay.....If thats all it is!
So we had a heart to heart or a heart to mind, you know the one
"I like you, what do you think about that?"
"hmm well thanks, a bit strange as I've only known you for about a week, but yea im getting that egyptians are the hopeless romantic types. But I dont feel tjhe same way"
"yea I thought that"
and without giving the cliche 'its not you its me' line, (which had its relevance never the less) I mumbled through a head full of cliche's untill I summbled upon an epiphany or a 'self-actualisation' (private joke) .
Allah blessed me with a srange one.
It IS a gift!
..because it protects me from being hurt,
but it is also a curse.
A curse because the block that has been put on my heart to stop me from being emotionally involved is also keeping me away from alot of nice brothers, brothers that are all perfectly good marriage material.
Allah knows best.
I can try and think of the wisdom of this that its keeping me from being interupted in a crucial point in my life.
But the truth of it is I really dont know why.
Even when I came close to being emotionally involved with someone or being able to see myself in the future with that person. I still got on that plane and came here.
I don't regret it beause it was what I had to do, but I do think about you all the time.
So here I am, two or three weeks into this trip and I have already found some clarity.
Kheir Inshallah
A curse in the fact
So much to say for such a little time.
I seemed to have really fallen on my feet here from the 1st day I arrived I met a gurdian Angel who has looked after me.
And allthough it seems as if you nver get something for nothing here sometimes just friendship is a fair price to pay.....If thats all it is!
So we had a heart to heart or a heart to mind, you know the one
"I like you, what do you think about that?"
"hmm well thanks, a bit strange as I've only known you for about a week, but yea im getting that egyptians are the hopeless romantic types. But I dont feel tjhe same way"
"yea I thought that"
and without giving the cliche 'its not you its me' line, (which had its relevance never the less) I mumbled through a head full of cliche's untill I summbled upon an epiphany or a 'self-actualisation' (private joke) .
Al-hamdulilah, we all have our gifts.
Allah blessed me with a srange one.
It IS a gift!
..because it protects me from being hurt,
but it is also a curse.
A curse because the block that has been put on my heart to stop me from being emotionally involved is also keeping me away from alot of nice brothers, brothers that are all perfectly good marriage material.
Allah knows best.
I can try and think of the wisdom of this that its keeping me from being interupted in a crucial point in my life.
But the truth of it is I really dont know why.
Even when I came close to being emotionally involved with someone or being able to see myself in the future with that person. I still got on that plane and came here.
I don't regret it beause it was what I had to do, but I do think about you all the time.
So here I am, two or three weeks into this trip and I have already found some clarity.
Kheir Inshallah
A curse in the fact
Thursday, July 10, 2008
Wednesday, July 2, 2008
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