Fury over advert claiming Egypt revolution as Vodafone's

Vodafone advertisement produced by JWT that suggests the phone company helped inspire the Egyptian revolution.

Vodafone is facing a backlash in Egypt over an advert suggesting it helped inspire this year's revolution in the country.

The three-minute commercial featured excerpts from a Vodafone ad campaign entitled Our Power, which was launched three weeks before an anti-government uprising swept the country. The video goes on to show images from protest rallies in Cairo's Tahrir Square before claiming: "We didn't send people to the streets, we didn't start the revolution … We only reminded Egyptians how powerful they are."

The short film features screengrabs of Facebook and Twitter messages posted by Egyptians approving of the Vodafone ad campaign, then an audio recording of Hosni Mubarak's resignation as president being announced on TV.

In fact, many pro-change activists blame Vodafone and other mobile phone companies for following Egyptian government orders and implementing a communications blackout at the height of the revolution. They have condemned the advert as a "sickening" attempt to push up sales by "riding the revolutionary bandwagon", and an insult to the hundreds who died in the struggle to bring down Mubarak.

"Apparently this tagline inspired people to take the streets," said prominent blogger Mohamed El-Dahshan in one of many angry and satirical responses that have spread across the web. "I mean, never mind the years of activism, the protests, the decades of cumulated grievances, the terrible economic situation, the trampled political freedoms, the police brutality, the torture, etc. Nah – we just watched a Vodafone ad, and thought: 'Hey! We're powerful! Let's topple the president!'"

Vodafone has strongly disassociated itself from the commercial, which was produced by the international marketing firm JWT. "The company does not have any connection to this video and had no prior knowledge of its production or posting on the internet," said Hatem Dowidar, the chief executive of Vodafone Egypt.

The advert appeared on the public website of JWT, which was hired by Vodafone Egypt to mastermind its recent communications strategy. The agency said the video was for "internal use" only and "not intended for public display". It has since been removed from the website, as havecopies posted on YouTube.

Egyptians queued up to vent their disbelief online. One YouTube comment said: "Are you guys seriously planning on leeching something out of this after you cut the phones and internet, after protesters who were being shot at could not call others and warn them about being shot at by snipers because of you? SHAME!"

Pro-change activist and former Google executive Wael Ghonim, who became an international media star of the revolution following his arrest and subsequent TV interview about the ordeal, also denounced the advert as unethical and accused JWT of using his name in the advert without permission. Meanwhile, a new website namedihatevodafoneegypt.com has rapidly become an online sensation.

To make matters worse for Vodafone and JWT, both the original ad campaign and the latest video feature Adel Emam, a veteran Egyptian actor who initially denounced the pro-change protests in January and has been widely derided in Egypt for his close links with the Mubarak family.

Vodafone is one of several firms in Egypt that agreed to shut off its mobile and internet networks in the early stages of the revolt as the government attempted to isolate anti-Mubarak protesters. It also allowed the Mubarak regime to send out anti-revolutionary text messages en masse to subscribers. It said it had no choice and has since apologised.

The firm is facing a series of legal challenges over what some critics have called its "complicity in dictatorship". It is accused of passing on information about opposition activists to the Mubarak regime's security services – a claim seemingly confirmed by Vodafone's global head of content standards, Annie Mullins, in February 2009 but later denied by Vodafone Egypt.

"All companies in Egypt are trying to use revolutionary and nationalist imagery right now to drive sales and in most cases it doesn't concern me," said Ramy Raoof, an activist with the Egyptian Initiative for Personal Rights who had his own Vodafone Egypt service cut off for several months under orders from Mubarak's apparatus.

"But when the communications companies try it – the ones who handed out our personal information to state security, the ones who shut down our lines and who helped the government cut us off – it's too far. People are talking about compensation but we don't want money. We want to see people on trial."

Vodafone is not the only mobile firm to come under fire for its alleged use of revolutionary material for marketing. Rival company Mobinil launched a huge advertising campaign at Cairo airport with billboardsfeaturing quotes from world leaders such as Barack Obama and Silvio Berlusconi praising the Egyptian revolution, stamped with the Mobinil logo.

"We have not used any images of the Egyptian revolution at any time in any of our external promotional material," a Vodafone spokesperson told the Guardian. "Any suggestions to the contrary are incorrect."

• Jack Shenker
• guardian.co.uk, Friday 3 June 2011 15.15 BST

Essays

So, I publish my essays on my blog under the page heading of 'If you think you can handle it'.To be honest I can't imagine anyone reading them only for the fact it isn't necessarily aesthetically pleasing and blogger makes publishing on a page difficult at the best of times.

The latest entry is an essay I wrote for my Judaism module about The Kabbalah. I actually enjoyed researching and writing this essay. I am currently writing an essay for the explanation of the doctrine of the Trinity for my Christian theology class, and I'm surprised to say that both themes are really quite similar. That is that they both seem to have eventuated via the philosophical questions of a believer to the nature and character of the Divine.

Any way it's all there if you are interested.......

Focus

Today, is a trialing day. Why is it that sometimes you wake up full of the air of promise, ready to embark on your 12 hour journey in the world of possibilities and other days your irritable, pessimistic and put-out by the sheer fact that you have to wake up and slave away to the schedule you've imposed on yourself.

So, there I am, butt to butt in the narrow corridor of a 'South Western' train being yelled at by the other disgruntled commuters who like me didn't wake up on 'the right side of the bed'. I try to take my irritated mind out of my hostile environment and pick up my kindle and start to read. I get a seat which forces me to try to put the day in a different light so I sit staring out on to the world with my usual 'lets change my energy' incantation (this usually consists of a sharp word or two with myself about gratitude). My mood slowly starts to shift and I am no longer in need of my 'London mantra'. A man in a suit sneezes rather loudly and as usual no one raises an eyebrow or batters an eyelid, the 'cold' demeanor of the English is one I'm always trying to surpass so I offer my 'bless you' as a charity which results in a 'how dare you take note of me' look from the man in question until he buries his head back into his news paper.

Sigh, 'don't let it phase you' I tell myself holding strong to the up-lifted disposition I earlier trained for. Eventually, I arrive at my final destination, fall up the stairs ready to laugh off my embarrassment as i lay on all fours splayed against the cold concrete, only to realise that people are actually tutting as they clamber over me. I route-march the mile walk to university, arrive to my lecture on time only to be told that it has been cancelled. I receive my 'marked' paper for an essay from last term realising that my marker couldn't even be bothered to write more than a sentence for the explanation of my rather poor mark.

Here, I am in the university library writing this out so I can mentally throw all the bad bits away and get on with some work. Yes, throw away the bad stuff.... Is that possible? I wonder...

NIQABITCH

Once you get over your shock, and you open your mind and drop your own prejudices, I hope that you find this protest to be what it is, a freedom of speech.

These ladies retaliated to the ban on niqab and hijab in France by producing this protest of their own. You may not like it but they certainly have a point.

By mixing the sacred with the profane they illustrate the ridicule we bring ourselves by placing such importance on fabric. Yes! I wear the hijab! but I wear it for my own reasons that are largely assosciated with religious ones but that is neither here nor there. One of the reasons I wear it and keep it is because I feel that I should be free to wear what I want in as much of an abundance as I like or as little for that matter.

Maybe it is the boom of the fashion industry that have ours and other western societies so obsessed with outward appearence, I don't know.

Some people hate these woman for what they did, and I'm sure the majority of which were muslim! can you believe it!!!!!! muslims! like me, asking for the right and freedom to wear what pleases them and yet tearing these women down for exorcising the same right- ok sure they were doing it purely for provocation - but as long as we want freedom of speach then we will have to listen to a whole lot of things that we don't necesarily like or want to hear and we shouldn't complain whilst doing so either.

The message is clear! freedom for all and hipocracy for none, its just a shame that they had to walk in the shoes of those they are trying to reach out to... NO I don't mean muslims, I mean hypocrites.

Think what you will, I commend them and I'm proud to do so

Key differences between Indian religions and Abrahamic faith: Challenges to the concept of the 'religion' paradigm.

This article was written as an assignment for the degree of 'Theology and Religious studies' By me, Jessi Walker.

All religion is centralized around the idea of ‘human condition’. This is where we see key differences distinctive between Abrahamic faiths and those of India, most importantly the views of human condition through observation of human place in time. Time within Abrahamic faiths is a linear one. Each of us has one beginning, a fixed period of existence with an end and an eternal future that is fixed. In comparison Indian faiths such as Hinduism and Buddhism have a cyclical view on time. The human condition for Hinduism and Buddhism is a continual one, which is eternal with multiple beginnings and endings. This is best illustrated in the Buddhist ‘Wheel of life’.

In both Indian faiths, Hinduism and Buddhism there is one ultimate goal of extinction; to end the cycle of rebirth through breaking the chains of time; Samsara. They differ in their view of the path to do so and theistic Hinduism is similar to the Abrahamic faiths in the fact that they feel their salvation is best sought after through the pleasing of a personal God(s)/Goddess.

Religion as a term for doctrines of Indian faiths can be a label wrongly used. As Hinduism doesn’t hold any core characteristics that we can measure by and even using the term Hinduism as a blanket term for the ideas found within it can be suffocating and oppressive to its diversity, imposing the conformity of Western religion. Similarly for Buddhism, Indian religions challenge the way we think about the constitution of religion although in a different light in the fact that it is the vacancy of a God/Gods and is replaced with a concentration of the teachings of an enlightened human. This causes us to re-evaluate it as a religion and can be viewed as a school of philosophy/psychology? The distinctions of which are questioned.

smile
out of all the people i've known
there are some people
for whom i hold alot of meaning
not becuse they know me
or care about me
my privacy or my ideas
but just because i fit some hole in their lives
then there are others
like you
and a select other
who are always part of me
i could be on mars
and you'd still be jessi
dont confuse people who know you,
with people who care about u
she doesnt care about you
you just fit some hole in her life
once you see that, you wont even be angry with her
love you loads walkerster



'If I debate with 70 schollors I'll beat them hands down, but if I debate with a fool, I'll loose' Sayedna Ayesha RAA

That moment!

Do you live your life worrying about every little thing that may occur in the future, the wrong that you have done in the past, the ever growing list of things to do or the fact that its 2am and you have to wake up at 7am for a long day's work in the morning?


I don't! I put them all in this little place where I forget them but its all still there and sometimes spills out on to my consciousness from time to time.

For instance, lets start with the worrying about the future thing..... I always make it a motto of mine not to directly think about the future, I'm not saying that it's a good motto but perhaps a lazy one for getting through life with a little less responsibility on my shoulders, but I have realised maybe what I have always known deep down is that it does worry me I just seem to have chosen not to think about it and now I'm stuck on that very thin line of being a child and an adult..... hanging on by a thread shall we say.

I have developed this massive fear of getting married (settling down) ever!!, I guess I just never understood how a woman as strong, intelligent, wise and true as my mum could make a mistake 2ce in that department in her life. And if she can do it then I feel bound to do it. I'm terrified of letting my (possible future) children go through any of what me and my brother experienced down to a tiny mistake that probably just started with a glance across a crowded bar. And when I was too caught up with crossing that line into adulthood to see the possible dangers in front of me I was reminded of exactly how true my foreseen prophesy was. I fell in love, we grew together and I found true trust for the first time in my life, I felt secure, stable and happy despite my adolescent behavior at times and it seems that I can only really see that now. But it happened, the thing that I had started to forget was possible, he let me down.......he shook our foundations until I had no where left to stand and everything I was so sure of was compromised. So I did what any other coward would do and ran for the hills.

And now I worry about the future and the past, I regret my actions but have to live with them, secretly (also) living in hope that I'm forgiven and that the impossible could happen and I could turn back time. but that doesn't change the fact that I let my guard down enough to get violently hurt. I fell in love with him because he was everything that the other wasn't. Kind, generous, honest, Innocent, loving, emotionally strong, a Muslim. And since that I have this fear that I squeeze way back into my tiny mind, but am influenced by it still!! no mater how hard I try to loose it, it always comes back.

For that very early morning on the beach in Sahel I found the eternal happiness of a spotless mind. I forgot about everything, really forgot everything just disappeared and it was all about the sky the sea and Allah's mercy on me for that moment. I laughed so hard that I cried and didn't really know what I was laughing at.

Ode to that moment in my life. May I never forget it, may there be many more of them, and may I always be greatful for them...

...Ameen

DumiaT

I travelled to a place called DumiaT last week for 4 days as the grandfather of the family that I am staying with passed away (Allah ya rahmou).

I couldn't believe that there is an actual civilised suburb exising in Egypt!!!

It's right up in the north and contains the end of the Nile where it meets the sea. It's very clean by Egyptian standards and not crowded at all! all though there's absolutely nothing to do there but I can see it being a nice place to go back to once your children are all grown up, although it holds those annoying intracacies that every small town is familiar with, everyone knowing your daughters friends brothers son's business and the wonder of how such a shop that sells 1 thing every week manages o stay open. Although, everyone there are much fitter, because there are less cars and better weather (with it being so close to the sea). Loads of people ride bikes and the town is small enough and pretty enough for you to want to walk to get from place to place, where as you need money to move in Cairo.

So I went and saw Ras Al Bar (the place where the Nile meets the Sea). It's strange to think that a river so grand that stretches so far ends at that small point. To know that the water your looking at has travelled al the way from Rawanda, and that the prophet Moses sailed down the same river in his tiny basket many years ago is something else!! something you can only apreciate in such a quiet place.

Flying without wings!

So, I have started horse riding as a serious sport now.

Not just now and then.

I even have a friend who hooked me up with a trainer that teaches me to race with skill, and last Friday they up-graded my horse with confidence that I knew a bit more about control.

I loved my horse, you tap it a little and it revs its engines, just a slight click from the corner of your mouth with a double tap with your heel and off it go's!!!!

Sub7anallah the speed of acceleration is something else!! I don't know how fast I was going at my peek but I over took the trainer and as he yelled at me to pull back I turned my head and screamed "LEI!!!!" which in Egyptian means why. By this time I was going too fast to turn back fully to see him but I could here him laugh at me as he shouted "inti magnouna wa horsan bardo!", in other words (namely English) " you are crazy and your horse also!!!" so I pulled back bit by bit slowing down until he caught up with me and he taught me how to keep my horse close to his as we rode off together, with him teaching me to control the speed in order to be side by side.

I totally know now why they call it Horse Power, Sub7anallah! I was going so fast at one point that my bum wasn't touching the saddle!!!!!!

Even if I wake up the next day with a back as bent as an Egyptian police man, and my hands all covered in blisters from having to pull the rains soo tight its still my favourite thing to do in Cairo!

Beautiful- If you want to experience flying but are scared of heights, ride a horse!!!

the typical 2.4 children

So I'm still living with the family.
Things are still much as the same, although, finding my clothes have been worn without being asked and my freshly cleaned hijabs now scrumpled in a pile on my bed (although a neat pile it may be) is starting to grate on me. But none of it is done out of spite, and I suppose its nice that they feel so comfortable with me to be like this, it's just I am a funny so and so and I like my own space.
You see I do have my own bed (to sleep in) but it isn't my bed and I'm reminded of this when I come home after a long days work and just want to pass out to find school uniform and used damp towels amongst other things on my (oops I mean)/ her bed.
That's the problem I am in debt to her and her sister. You see I don't have any privacy but that's down to me, they don't have any privacy either and this is down to there generosity and kindness and I feel so guilty every time I feel my temperature raise at the site of my favourite jeans being worn by her slightly chubby sister! and when my expensive broach isn't in my accessories bag but on her mums abaya lol, OK OK that's enough moaning just had to get it out of my system.
The truth is I am really going to miss them all when I leave, the dad that insists on knowing everything but is sooo generous that drives the mum crazy who looks to me for advice in almost everything that she does and the doting little sister that wants to make everyone happy and is so comfortable in her own skin for a 14 year old that I'm constantly impressed.
Never the less I just need my own space!

So, I have been looking for a place with a small budget but they won't let me take any of the cheap ones because they say that it's not safe blah blah, (btw there are no woman that live alone in Egypt! this is strictly limited to the few foreigners that live here, only then is it acceptable). When I do find a suitable priced apartment something happens where it doesn't work out. Mainly because you have to rely on people here. It's all about who you know, and I don't know anyone, so I have on rely on people that do and Egyptians are very lazy!!!!!
SO....
I look for a job with better pay that everyone insists I can get for speaking English only and being a British national in order to widen my choice of places. But how do you get jobs here!?!?!?!? like in England you have the job centre, the newspapers, the untold amount of Internet sites and agencies, here, I just don't know. Again its who you know, and again I don't know anyone. But even when I do get an interview it's just like before; it turns out that there was an error in communication and perfect Arabic as well as English is a must!
So it's 2 steps forward 3 steps back.
I need to work on reversing these numbers!! then least then I'd be getting somewhere. I know that I will at some point but its all a waiting game here. If you want to brush up on your patience come to Egypt!

Hajj

To carry out the pilgrimage rituals a pilgrim needs to be in a state of Ihram - a special state of ritual purity.
A pilgrim does this by making a statement of intention to perform the Hajj, wearing special white clothes (which are also called Ihram), and obeying certain regulations.

During the Hajj, pilgrims are forbidden to:
Engage in marital relations
Shave or cut their nails
Use cologne or scented oils
Kill or hunt anything
Fight or argue
Women must not cover their faces, even if they would do so in their home country
Men may not wear clothes with stitching.

Once in Mecca pilgrims enter the Great Mosque and walk seven times round the Kaaba (a cube-like building in the centre of the mosque) in an anti-clockwise direction.
This is known as Tawaf.

Pilgrims also run seven times along a passageway in the Great Mosque, commemorating a search for water by Hajar, wife of Prophet Abraham.

DAY 1: FIRST STEP
Pilgrims travel to Mina on 8 Dhul Hijjah (a date in the Islamic calendar) and remain there until dawn the next morning.

DAY 2: STANDING AT ARAFAT
Pilgrims then travel to the valley of Arafat and stand in the open praising Allah and meditating.
At the end of the day, pilgrims travel to Muzdalifa where they spend the night. Pilgrims gather up stones to use the next day.

DAY 3: STONING THE DEVIL
In the morning, pilgrims return to Mina and throw seven stones at pillars called Jamaraat. These represent the devil. The pillars stand at three spots where Satan is believed to have tempted the Prophet Abraham.

Pilgrims sacrifice an animal (usually a sheep or goat). This commemorates the incident related in the Old Testament when the Prophet Abraham was about to sacrifice his son and God accepted a sheep instead. Nowadays many pilgrims pay someone to slaughter the animal on their behalf.

Pilgrims shave their heads or cut some hair from it and return to the Great Mosque at Mecca for a further Tawaf, walking around the Kaaba. They then return to Mina, where they spend the night.

DAYS 4 & 5
Pilgrims spend time in Mina, continuation of the ritual of stoning the pillars.
If a pilgrim has been unable to return to Mecca to walk around the Kaaba, he or she does so on the fourth or fifth day.

Where is she now?

So once again I have landed on my feet, and here is a brief update for those that want to know;



A friend offered me her house after I realised that the budget my flat was giving me would result in an earlier departure then wanted (due to limited funds).



When I say offered me her house I mean a 2 bedroom flat along with her sister her brother and both her parents.

Hmmmm....6 people in 2 rooms?, how does that work you may ask! very nicely actually. Her and her sister share a bed whilst I get the bed of the other in their room, her parents and her brother share between the other room and the sofa bed in the front-room. Sounds tight I know but it works and Im comfortable her mum doesn't want me to leave because...



A) she wants to learn English and has the chance to conversate with me

B) apparently her children are acting better since I've arrived,



Her father is an easy man to talk to speaks English well and loves that typical slapstic egyptian comedy. It was he who hooked me up with the job Im at now. A patient of his owns a travel and tourism company and is expanding at the moment by planning to offer boat trips from egypt to Saudi quicker than a plane journey.

And so here I am over looking the purchase of some very large ships for this very kind man called Abu Hassan in his late 70's lives between here and Saudi Arabia and is treating me like his daughter.

His whole family are doing everything to help me. He gave me a lump of money before I started as a good will gesture, invites me into his office to eat with his family every day at the end of work, sends me home in his Merc with his driver, and gave me some money yesterday 'as a father to a daughter' his daughter said as I protested to take it. His daughter passes by the office almost every day with her daughter. His 3 sons all grown and married work within the business.



They ask me every day what I need, to the point that I feel I should make something up, untill finally I mentioned that I needed an arabic teacher. Within secconds his son was on the phone and after I finnished my food I was called into the office where a teacher sat and they discussed my schedule for study to be 4 days a week here at work for 2 hours all paid for by the company.



It has overwhelmed me the generosity from both these families just as I was about to write off all egyptians as cunning con artists, ok not all but most. And I feel greatly indebted to both a debt that Im worried I will not be able to repay.



Although it has put me in a bit of a pickle, I don't know my sallary and all these kind gestures have made it almost impossible for me to ask...but I need to know if it is suitable for what I am able to live on. I also work 6days a week something I learned the day before my presumed 2-day weekend, another thing that I want to talk to him about but feel like I don't have a right to almost! 1day is not enough for me to enjoy my life, I usually go horse riding every Friday but sometimes the people I go with change it to a Satuirday being the other common day from there weekend here in Egypt and I go swimming on Saturdays which is the only day available for many reasons and I have Friday off only..... Insallah I'l sort this after a week or two.

new day

Life just got real serious....

...cause for a little while it was all just about fun in the sun.

So the long awaited Ramadhan has finally arrived and it couldnt have come any sooner! I spent the day before rather domestically cleaning up, doing some hand washing tying up some loose ends and then took a stroll to the masjid at the end of my road for Isha and finally Taraweh.

...where I cried like a baby for the first 8 raqah's. I don't know what it is that just gets me with the qur'aan but I stood there in preyer listening to Surah Al-Baqarah remembering that that particular chapter of the Qur'aan is a healer. So, I asked Allah to do just that, I pleaded with him to clean my heart of the black mark i had allowed to grow over the past year and to heal my emotional wounds that I left open and unforgoten to bother me from the back of my mind.

As my dissapointments of life flashed before my eyes the tears started to flow as did my astughfir's untill I was finding it hard to breath.

You see Im not much of a cryer!
I didnt cry when my mum weeped on my shoulder at the airport, nor do I when I cut my hand or remember my broken heart or when I feel disgusted at myself when I reminisce on the hurt and pain that I have caused others. So it was quite a clearance. and afterwards I felt exhausted I couldn't believe it was only 10.00 pm!!

Al-Hamdulilah!

I had my first Qur'aan lesson today also, it's been one of the only things that leaves me anticipated for children so that I can put my (on-point) recitation to use and lead my family in prayer (Inshallah). I will be having 1hour of Qur'aan and 3 hours of Arabic a day from now on and getting paid to just stick around for an hour in case they get some children for the English classes they want me to start teaching. And that's only obligated on me for 3 days a week.

Both my Arabic and My qur'aan teacher want to pay me to tutor them in speaking English, so I made a deal to swap the lessons for home cooked food. They found that hilarious, but they haven't seen what a put off my kitchen is to cook in and KFC and Pizza hut is really expensive every night .

So, hello to Ramadhan and the purification of my soul Inshallah!

Misr week 2 or three

WOW!
So much to say for such a little time.

I seemed to have really fallen on my feet here from the 1st day I arrived I met a gurdian Angel who has looked after me.
And allthough it seems as if you nver get something for nothing here sometimes just friendship is a fair price to pay.....If thats all it is!

So we had a heart to heart or a heart to mind, you know the one
"I like you, what do you think about that?"
"hmm well thanks, a bit strange as I've only known you for about a week, but yea im getting that egyptians are the hopeless romantic types. But I dont feel tjhe same way"
"yea I thought that"
and without giving the cliche 'its not you its me' line, (which had its relevance never the less) I mumbled through a head full of cliche's untill I summbled upon an epiphany or a 'self-actualisation' (private joke) .

Al-hamdulilah, we all have our gifts.
Allah blessed me with a srange one.
It IS a gift!
..because it protects me from being hurt,
but it is also a curse.

A curse because the block that has been put on my heart to stop me from being emotionally involved is also keeping me away from alot of nice brothers, brothers that are all perfectly good marriage material.
Allah knows best.
I can try and think of the wisdom of this that its keeping me from being interupted in a crucial point in my life.
But the truth of it is I really dont know why.
Even when I came close to being emotionally involved with someone or being able to see myself in the future with that person. I still got on that plane and came here.

I don't regret it beause it was what I had to do, but I do think about you all the time.

So here I am, two or three weeks into this trip and I have already found some clarity.

Kheir Inshallah
A curse in the fact

Immortal Technique Concert 04/06/08

Yesterday I fell in love,
it was such a nostalgic feeling, it came entangled with inspiration.

Along with Marmite, Public parks, and my mother, the up and coming Hip-Hop scene has given me another reason (on the ever shrinking list) to be proud to be British.
Not a pride of arrogant intent but the type of pride that hopeful foundations lye on.

Standing in one of the most eclectic crowds I have ever seen I listened to a 17 year old tell me about 'his ancestors growing into tall feathers with ink dripping from there feet writing the words that can still be read today', it was obviously said with a bit more lyrical finesse but you can see where I'm coming from, a 17 year old!

So you can Imagine the rest of the warm up, each performer topping the one before it eloquently articulating the problems that we chose to ignore. Where other rappers before them couldn't find any other words but 'F*CK THE POLICE', these guys break down political history all in the time it would take to tie your shoe laces!

I can't wait to check out some of the snippets I heard in full detail.
To understand what I'm hyping up look out for artists such as 'Low Key' of the Poisonous poet's crew, and 'The Peoples Army' crew.
I have to give a special mention to 'Low Key', Karim you stole the show big time!

Decisions...Decisions....

Before I became Muslim I still seemed to have a sense of spirituality, of some sort, although sacrilegious it didn't seem to be.

I was very happy to float along in life believing that 'what will be will be' and that my 'fate is what it is', which generally meant I had little to worry about.
This, added with my lack of sympathy for others and having a conscience that was little to non meant that life was quite easy for me.

Now!.....now I have to think about everything.
I have to think before I speak -still working on that one-
I have to think, if what I say could or would hurt anyone in any way. Put myself in others shoes, so to speak.
I have to think about my actions -another one in working progress-
If what I do will benefit just myself or if there is a better way of doing it so that it can benefit others.

When I come to a cross roads in my life......it is no longer sufficient to accept 'if it's meant to be it will be'
I am slowly moving away from my procrastinating days into an 'affirmative action woman'
and when these dilemma's do come about I can clearly visualise it like a cross roads, do I take the road to the right or the one to the left?
and it's never anything more than an educated guess so I gamble.....
yes I gamble a gambling MUSLIM!!! DEH DEH DEHHHHHHH!!!

Like how do I know if doing the sensible thing is the right thing? or if doing the sensible thing means missing out on a better life......I don't!

....and it's driving me crazy because I know that if you want something you have to just go out there and get it. But when you want two things that clash with each other what choice do you make? and when it's all just a matter of time, you question yourself as to weather time is something you can control?

So there you are with this big decision that you have been shoving to the back of your mind into your very own little Pandora's box.
You get into bed at night and fantasise about the 'what could have been's' and the 'what might Be's', dreaming up all these little realities, imagining yourself living these choices.
It's only then that you realise that you have already made your decision!
and that you should stop worrying and just do it!
and the next day
your all a buzz....
and there's so much to sort out
and so little time (it's always about the time)

but....WHAT IF!!!!

uh oh here it comes the doubts?

....it always reminds me of the scene in 'Pulp Fiction' with Bruce Willis (and Al Green in the background singing 'Lets stay together') and Ving Rhames says to 'Butch'

"that's Pride fuc*ing with you"....

....he may as well be saying it to me because my doubts are only so that I don't make a fool out of myself. Only because I don't want to seem clingy or stalker-ish or luney or brash or Rude or selfish or argggggghhhhhhhhhh.

So there it is.

I need to live for the moment and not give a shizzle what other people think.
Even if it concerns them?
no that's not right!
because then I wouldn't be acting like much of a Muslim...

...AHoooo again with the cross roads.

(Oh'..) Lord of the Flies

He must have been on a stake out for the past few days, observing it's enemy (namely me) and the habits with which to use upon my destruction.

I could ignore him for the sake of an un-interrupted episode of 'desperate housewives' which only led to irritate him even more so.

teasing me he would linger around my head, screaming in my ear.

ENOUGH was ENOUGH!

I flicked the switch to stun the sod HA HA

it faked an injury only to screw with my mind when it flipped out and starting darting around the room

I grabbed the deodorant and fired it in short blasts......

no joy!
I just couldn't get it within my line of fire.

twisting and turning around the room i emptied my ammo on everything but the blasted FLY!!

until i collapsed back on to my bed defeated.......

choking.....

itching.....

gassed.....

and off it flew nonchalantly out the door!

Maslow's concept 1943

I am not a stranger to the mantra of the mid 90's that is; 'Self Actualisation', an after thought of the escapist attitudes left over from the aftermath of the 70's and 80's Ecstasy and cocaine generation, leading to unmotivated family dynamics or so 'they said' amongst us, the working class the once thought of 'backbone of Britain'.


My strongest recollection of education is remembered not from school but in a mis-shapen youth club where our lessons of respect acceptance and personal strength were at an abundance.
And sometimes by doing so this seemed to have had a devastating effect of reverse-psychological self fulfilling prophecy's where the rich stayed rich and the poor stayed oblivious, but then again there's just no helping some people lol.
Although, the encouragement from my council appropriated mentors didn't always fall on deaf ears. But, I guess the belief that someones environment and social conditions play a fundamental role in motivating an individual towards self growth isn't too far from the truth.

However,

Islam seemed to be the one 'theory' that didn't need a pie chart graph or diagram to understand and or take effect, it's equation is quite simple.

Islam has a two-fold meaning;

• submission to god
• peace

-Peace attained through willing obedience to Allah's divine guidance.

And therefore a Muslim is;

-one who surrenders to God and is a sustainer of peace.

Alternatively one can dissect themselves through theory's such as Maslow's concept of 'Self-Actualisation'

or submit to God and have a simpler life...

if only!

with thanks to MK, without whom I would never had ponderd upon the term 'self -actualization' haha

Today

Yesterday was the official end of the beginning,

Like....nursery school,

...which you spend painting rainbows with the continuous amazement of watching the sand as you pour it into the water tray and having the glorious feeling of wearing the only Superman costume in the fancy dress corner for the third time in a row during the week.

...Just like the time leading up to yesterday.


It seems to take forever to end, as much as your enjoying it you just want to get into reception class and start learning all the wonderful things that grown ups know and do.

Like what I'm waiting for now,
now that today is the official end of the beginning.

Like when July comes at the end of nursery school,

Just like yesterday!

And you realise that not all endings are official,
they are just the start of something else...

like a beautifull summer,
like after yesterday.

Testing Testing 123...........456...7...8.......9......ah come on!

In the last two weeks in particular I feel like I am being tested on alot of things!!!!
Some seem quite apparent at the start, others become understood when I fail and realise that there was a better way of acting, thinking, or speaking and some are just so obvious that I laugh at my own struggle.
So with this in mind I wonder why now?, is it because I am in the line up of some kind of reward in this life but I have to earn it first? or is it because I have been dragging my feet behind me so he's stepping up the game!. Maybe I just need a little slap in the face to know what should be important to me, to realise what IS important to me, and to remember that I don't have much to fight for.
I said to a friend before this all started happening that I wish I had the feeling of when I first took my steps towards him, not that I don't love him because I do but I just lack conscious gratitude of what he gives me, what he gives us, like before, where I would look at the muggy brown leaves on a grey day and feel amazed and humbled by there secret beauty that I now had the opportunity to see.
So maybe this is a more Divine lesson of the age old one that my dad used to give me;
"I'll give you something to cry about" he would say, and he did! although it's execution lacked example but I can see it clearly now in the work of the one I love.